Soul Reflections: Experiencing Inner Peace

Inner Peace! Isn’t that what we’d all love to experience consistently as we weave our paths through everything life gives us? The good news is it is far simpler to attain than many of our outer (material or physical) goals or manifestations. The bad news is that simple isn’t easy! Attaining inner peace is not easy because it means replacing old habits with new ones, and that requires dedication, commitment and consistency. But the benefits are absolutely worth the effort.

Inner peace gives you the ability to live your life with a sense of happiness, satisfaction and fulfilment which is not disturbed or influenced by outside events.

How do you acquire it? By living your life your own way, not how others think you should. By not worrying about what others think of you – we all judge others (both positively and negatively) according to our own values, but if we try to live our lives in a way that honours another soul’s values rather than our own, we’ll always have a little gnawing discomfort going on deep inside.
To experience inner peace, we should practice forgiveness and letting go of guilt. Forgive yourself and forgive others. Feeling guilty about past actions won’t change them and won’t make anybody feel any better (either you or the soul whom you’ve hurt). Do what you can to make things amends, resolve to do better in the future, and move on. That is really the only thing you can do.
Likewise, letting go of anger or grudges will bring about a surprising sense of peace. Think about it:

How does holding onto these negative emotions help you? And do you think your emotions hurt those who have hurt you?

Not at all. They are YOUR emotions and you are the only soul who they can harm. Of course, it can be very difficult to forgive a soul who’s hurt you. However, what I’ve come to realize is that most souls don’t maliciously set out to hurt others, and those who do are deeply unhappy themselves. The motivation and intention behind their action was probably fear, rather than deliberately wanting to cause hurt or cause you pain. And in that context, it’s easier to let it go.
And with a little bit of practice at forgiveness, you may even find yourself getting less annoyed or angry with souls in future. When you can shrug things off and not take things personally (it’s really about them, and not you at all), you’ll have a greater sense of inner peace.

Our happiness is determined by how we think about the events in our lives, rather than by the events themselves.

Take charge of your thoughts and you take charge of your emotions. To achieve inner peace, you also need to let go of worry. Hmm, another tricky one! Worry is similar to guilt. Worrying about what might or might not happen is completely unproductive, and totally destroys your ability to enjoy the present moment. A great shame that, as the present moment is all we really have.
How do we learn to let go of worries, guilt and anger? Well, the first thing is to become consciously aware of what we’re thinking whenever we feel worried, guilty or angry. Notice what’s going on in your inner dialogue, and acknowledge that it’s your thoughts about the external event that’s causing you to feel the way you do, and not the event itself. Afterwards, reframe your thoughts to reflect on what’s going on around you in a more positive light. Whenever you catch yourself thinking about an old thought, banish it immediately, and replace it with the new one.

“No one can create negativity or stress within you. Only you can do that by virtue of how you process your world.” - Dr. Wayne Dyer

This will take a lot of practice but with patience and persistence, you will develop a healthy and positive inner dialogue that promotes a feeling of well-being and inner peace. As a result, the world will feel like a far better place to live in because you will be projecting your internal reality onto the external world.

How to Stop Living Your Life on Auto Pilot

If you find yourself doing the same routine day after day, never remembering what you did the day before, having nothing to look forward to, surviving your life – but never enjoying it or anything in it, then you are probably living your life and the relationships in it on autopilot.
The really devastating part about living your life on autopilot, especially when it comes to your relationships, is that you don’t even know that you’re doing it half the time.

You're just living your life, wishing for more, but not really sure if there is more or how to get it.

While many souls live out their entire lives on autopilot (which is truly sad), the way to have truly rewarding and successful lives & relationships is to be aware. To be adaptable when it comes to managing the events in our lives. So, how do you do that?

  1. Stop and smell the roses (literally!). Take time to notice all the little things around. Take the time to look around like the way you used to do when you were six.
  2. Think about your short and long-term goals and manifestations. Do you have any? If so – have you forgotten about them? Re-write that list and start working on accomplishing your next short-term goal or manifestation.
  3. Remember your relationship and connections. When was the last time you did something new with the souls you love? When was the last time you even wanted to? Start thinking about how you can add effort into your relationships and connections and stop just “being in them”.
  1. Finally, I’ve learned through my coaching experience that if you are on autopilot there’s a reason why. It’s usually because your life is out of synchronization or harmony. It’s could be too stressful, too complicated, too boring, or you have surrendered your life to the “routine”. We encourage you to take one day this week and really think about your life. Your relationships.
  2. How can you shake things up? Make them more interesting? How can you get back into synchronization and fall back in love with your life again?
 

Soul Reflections: Different, but the Same

Something I don’t really talk about is that I don’t talk to a lot of my family. I stopped speaking to my father and my father’s side of the family when I was asked to ignore my pain and my trauma to make them comfortable. I would have been 19/20 years old when I made this decision. I stopped speaking to my mother’s side of the family when I felt like the responsibility of being from a Christian family was taking up too much space for me to find my own way. I was 16 years old when I made this choice, and 19 years old when I started adjusting my boundaries for certain family members.
Now, this is a very concise and generalized description of several life-changing years of my life. Really what I’m getting at is that we all choose different ways to discover ourselves, our own sense of agency. I’ve noticed that my tendency is to flee. To remove myself from any and all things that hinder my growth, that ask me to be small, that require me to be a fragment of my soul’s reflection.
Since the passing of Taime, family has been a reoccurring theme for me. At the Celebration of Life, I was reunited and reconnected with family members, who I haven’t seen in over 7 years. I wondered what I would do if we reconnected. But honestly, I never really thought it would happen. I couldn’t have imagined that the reason for all of us to be together, under one roof would be to celebrate Taime’s 22 years of life.
We exchange numbers and got reacquainted. However, what I wasn’t expecting were the follow-up messages that came in the weeks to follow. Accountability and follow-through haven’t really been a strong suit for my family tree. So, when I was invited for a girl’s night with my aunts and cousins. I decided to take a leap of faith and go.
I enjoyed myself until – I didn’t. To be honest, it was no fault of their own. My family is loud and robust. It’s a lot of energy for me to filter in a small space and with so many of us. I’ve always felt being in large group settings overwhelming, but it’s definitely harder when it’s my family. Now, thanks to my knowledge through my spiritual journey, I understand why. There is an added sense of responsibility because of social identities I couldn’t care for. It’s all the expectations and the need to belong, while knowing in my Soul that I never truly will.
I have more agency than I ever have. In the past, when I was emotionally overwhelmed or taking on all of the various energies of my family, I would have to stay. To do what I was told because I was a child. This time around, I had the agency to leave, and I left. I ordered myself an Uber and thanked them for a nice time. Then, I informed them that I was heading home. The important part of that sentence is informed. I told them what I was doing, instead of having to ask for permission.
In the past, I would have thrown on a smile because people-pleasing would be easier than explaining the discomfort. This time around, I openly went outside to smoke a joint because I needed to decompress and cry about the loss of my sister in peace. This time around, I left when it was all becoming too much because I remembered I had the power to do so. Feeling powerful in a situation that would have rendered me powerless before was different. It reminded me how much things really DO and HAVE changed.
As I enter this new phase of life, as I mentally prepare to leave Ontario in September, the province that has been my home for over 27 years. I’m starting to see how my guides are bringing me back to similar moments and feelings I’ve experienced in the past. Only to show me how different things really are, how much I have and will always be fully me.

My family is who they always were. Now, I am who I was always meant to be.

It means we have a choice, we either accept each other for who we are, we tolerate each other with feelings of resentment and anger, or we simply let go of the relationship we thought we needed to have. Our life experiences have shown us that 7 years apart didn’t waver our unconditional love for each other. However, now, I have unconditional love for myself. So I can accept their love openly knowing it no longer defines me. Knowing I no longer NEED it to feel seen, validated or loved. The real change is me.